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Many of us have extensive prerequisite checklists before even considering going on a first date. Maybe you want someone who is exactly like you, whether it’s interests, religion, or background. Maybe you’re not looking twice at people who have a certain dating history, are over a certain age, or own a cat (because you’re way more of a dog person). While shared values are crucial and compatibility is often determined by similarities, try getting to know someone before making assumptions based on your prerequisites. The only “prerequisites” you need are your non-negotiable values, like kindness, integrity, and humor. Otherwise, base opinions on how you feel, not off of a checklist. Pay attention to the person in front of you and try not to project a narrative or assign meaning to traits before you even know the person. Ask questions and genuinely care about why someone is the way they are before determining whether or not they are for you.
For some guys, they go about this subtly. Instead of directly asking the girl out on a date, they stick around her and do nice things for her, hoping she’ll start having feelings for them. But in any case, waiting for a lady to make a move on you is a huge dating mistake. It’s a simp move. If you want her, just go for her. There are also a group of guys who have a fantasy about the kind of girl they want but don’t do what it takes to get them. And one of the major reasons for this is that guys often select the kind of girl they want based on ego. They want the girl that has it all. The looks, the great skin, the class, and everything in between. And because of this perfect ideal they have in their heads, they pass on great relationships. This, however, doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with having high standards. But be realistic with your standards. Don’t have standards that are only possible in your fantasies.
Scientifically, it’s been found that making eye contact with someone we love makes us feel good. And this is because when two people who are attracted to each other mutually gaze into each other’s eyes, the brain releases oxytocin, which in turn makes the two people looking at each other bond more. Furthermore, a man who always makes good eye contact with his woman makes her feel special. When he’s looking at her, it’s evident that he’s paying attention. It means he respects her, and whatever she has to say is deserving of his undivided attention. Most women are turned on by a deep baritone voice. And this is partly because we all want what we don’t or can’t have. Women typically have soft and mild voices. And hearing a man who has a strong, deep voice just feels good.
Avoid giving out your number until after the first date: Experts advise users who communicate on dating apps to avoid changing to direct text with their telephone. This is for safety reasons and because there is a high chance the date won’t materialize. Although it isn’t mannerly, the reality is that ghosting happens, and date plans sometimes aren’t finalized, texts are forgotten, or things turn platonic. So, schedule the first date directly on the dating app platform. Once you’ve met in person, and if you feel comfortable and connected, then consider exchanging numbers and/or social media platforms.
The purpose of going on dates, talking to new people, and opening yourself up to meet someone new is not to feed your ego, affirm insecurities, or to find a soulmate ASAP. The purpose is to collect information that will bring you closer to a happy, fulfilling life and to have a good time along the way. Bottom line: It should be fun meeting new people, whether or not a second date follows. If it’s not, take a break from dating to reflect on what you’re really looking for in your dating life.
I know it isn’t easy to turn inward. It feels vulnerable. It requires recognizing your weaknesses. But in doing so, you’re setting yourself up for dating success. Because at the end of the day, you can’t control what other people do — all you can control is your own actions and behavior. And I’ll let you in on a little secret: you attract what you give off. In other words, only when you are mentally and emotionally healthy will you be able to land a partner who is as well. So, ready to make some positive changes? Cheers to a new year, a new outlook, and a new and exciting chapter for love. Follow these foolproof dating tips and odds are, you won’t be single for very long.
Work on your communication skills. Particularly in this day and age, where people are busier than ever and have more devices to be reached on, communication skills are what can make you stand out from the crowd. Seriously, don’t underestimate how much texting someone back promptly or calling them to follow up on a date can make a difference in winning them over. This shows several things: that you’re conscientious, that you care, and that you’re reliable, all of which are highly desirable traits in a partner.
Finding the right person with whom you can share your life has never been an easy process. While connecting to individuals has become a bit more convenient thanks to online dating platforms and social media, dating is still a fairly complex process. One common myth is that there is a perfect person out there for everyone and that finding the person will lead to a fairytale ending of living happily ever after. In contrast, relationships require work and compromise from both partners and ultimately, the most important thing one can do when dating is to be authentic and open to the possibility of building a meaningful connection with someone who shares the same values and interests.
Don’t…get too attached too quickly. It’s healthy to keep your options open at the early stages of dating. Commitment should come after you’ve seen real potential in the person you’re dating and after an honest conversation about where you both want things to go. Do…give yourself a break from dating when it’s needed. It’s very important to have a balance in all areas of your life. If work or personal circumstances demand it, taking a break from ‘putting yourself out there’ may well be the best thing you can do. Stretching yourself thinly doesn’t do any favours to you or any of your dates.